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Dose 33 – Maya alone

Il debito pubblico sfonda i duemila miliardi di euro. Ormai la nostra unica speranza è Bono.

(Il debito pubblico italiano è così alto che ad ogni bambino che nasce verranno spezzate due dita)

Monti: “Mio nipote all’asilo lo chiamano Spread. Ma ora scusate, devo andare a prendere Imu e Porcodio”.

Lapo Elkann arriva in ritardo alla prima della Scala. “Quanto stanno?”

Lapo in ritardo alla Scala. Non si trova un cazzo di parcheggio su quel palco.

Rubato il busto di Almirante dal cimitero del Verano. A Storace si dev’essere impallato youporn.

Contrabbando di ovetti Kinder, arrestati due giovani. Contenevano un evasore fiscale e un ladro.

Calcio, nasce la nazionale amputati. Praticamente un biliardino.

Immagino le proteste: “Arbitro unicorno!”

Kim Jong-un lancia un missile ed un satellite in orbita. Si è di nuovo seduto sul telecomando.

La Corea del Nord ha lanciato il suo missile. Non si vedeva una provocazione così dai tempi della pettinatura di Kim Jong Il.

Minacce e insulti a dj Francesco. Da oggi c’è anche l’app.

Bersani: “La mia agenda? La stessa di Monti più qualcosa”. I punti interrogativi.

È morto l’inventore del codice a barre. È arrivato il momento di passare alla cassa.

“Come vi uccidereste?” è la traccia di un tema assegnato a una classe di tredicenni. I maschi hanno dato tutti la stessa risposta.

Pontifex: “Certi siti internet sono strumenti di Satana”. Hanno scoperto i captcha.

“Di questi tempi leggiamo su internet di sfaccendati che irridono la chiesa”. Neanche voi avete un cazzo da fare, eh?

Il sesso subito rovinerebbe i rapporti futuri. Per questo si paga in anticipo.

Grillo: “Voto a febbraio per escluderci”. Se credi che l’Italia non sia un paese democratico, puoi andare fuori dalle palle.

Agricoltura, settecentomila schiavi nei nostri campi. È da queste cose che poi nascono bei generi musicali.

Riccardo Schicchi è passato a miglior vita. Permettetemi di essere scettico.

Meteorite precipita a Palermo. O forse è solo la 126 che è ricaduta al suolo.

* * *

Autori: purtroppo, venividiwc, giggi, filipio, jackbass68, mercà, dan11, misterdonnie, george clone, theaubergine, mestmuttèe, sofino, itscetty, naima84, andre21, masss e zip.

12.416 commenti a “Dose 33 – Maya alone”

6 • Andrea21 dicembre 2012 alle 17:57

Ma una bestemmia così (giggi)? Al di là della carica ironica di basso livello cui è tradizionalmente associata, non è un’esagerazione di volgarità?

13 • g.mosconi21 dicembre 2012 alle 18:03

giggi mi hai fatto crepare dalle risate, grande! e perdona i bigotti, non sanno quello che fanno! ;)

17 • Sluggo21 dicembre 2012 alle 18:11

Di solito mi limito a ridere senza commentare (specificare la battuta migliore mi è sempre sembrato come far vedere un pornazzo agli amici e, improvvisamente, esclamare: ‘Ecco, qui è dove vengo!’), però quella su spread imu e porcodio è celestiale!
Grande. E grandi tutti.

I post sono molto divertenti.
Potreste levare la frase con la bestemmia o rimuovere la bestemmia dalla frase?
Grazie

23 • donnaprassede21 dicembre 2012 alle 18:31

quella della bestemmia è entrata al secondo posto della mia personale top 3 (quella della salma insabbiata di cossiga rimane sul gradino più alto del podio).

24 • antoniov21 dicembre 2012 alle 18:32

Assolutamente mi-ti-ci (come direbbe galeazzi), un post così spettacolare non lo leggevo da tempo.

26 • misterdonnie21 dicembre 2012 alle 18:33

@mmmm: qual è l’attività preferita di un maschio tredicenne? (e non solo tredicenne :ninja:)

29 • antoniov21 dicembre 2012 alle 18:35

Anche a me da fastidio la bestemmia alla terza battuta, che avrebbe funzionato anche con altre espressioni, l’hanno lasciata apposta per vedere quanti commenti ne venivano fuori

32 • Banda della Bandana21 dicembre 2012 alle 18:38

E’ schifoso inserire una bestemmia in un post così. Ce ne vorrebbero almeno una decina.

Post meraviglioso, uno dei migliori. Quella sui nipotini di Monti è stupenda e la bestemmia no, non si poteva evitare.

Da musicista ed amante del Blues, quella sugli schiavi nei campi la trovo semplicemente geniali! Bravissimi!

35 • goemon21 dicembre 2012 alle 18:50

Sarò strano, ma ultimamente apprezzo più i metadone dei post.
Giggi e la doppietta di Donnie (biliardino e tema) assolutamente spettacolari, ma molte bellissime.

Comnque concordo che l’utilizzo improprio della bestemmia è fastidioso…
se la attacchi mi ci devi mettere la doppia “d” eccheccacchio.
E poi Andre e Jack sono i soliti volgaroni (pene, si dice pene!).

Buon Natale branco di volgaroni bestemmiatori miscredenti :)

38 • Marcel21 dicembre 2012 alle 19:08

Pensa che quella di IMU e Porcodio non l’ho capita… sarebbero altri due nipoti di Monti?!

42 • Niccoló21 dicembre 2012 alle 19:18

L’Italia non è un paese democratico e le elezioni a febbraio sono state decise proprio per tenere fuori grillo, che è percepito come il secondo “partito” italiano.

Per il resto bella li

45 • Enrico Carlo21 dicembre 2012 alle 19:36

a tutti quelli lesti a scandalizzarsi per un insulto a dio (che non esiste) invece di prendere le difese di quelle povere persone (esistenti e sofferenti) che hanno perso un arto offese da questo ignorante con la sua battuta idiota che non fa ridere: disdite l’abbonamento a famiglia cristiana please!

53 • Barabba Superstar21 dicembre 2012 alle 20:49

C’è senpre una prima volta: fanno schifo. Tutte. Tranne l’ultima. Fe-no-me-na-le.

54 • Alessandro Morelli21 dicembre 2012 alle 20:55

porcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodioporcodio

55 • patty21 dicembre 2012 alle 20:59

in effetti mi sembra discutibile, anche se geniale,quella del biliardino….per le bestemmie,se in un contesto giusto, penso che anche il Padreterno si fa una risata!

56 • Andre2121 dicembre 2012 alle 21:11

35 • goemon Buon Natale un cazzo…

51 • Congolese medio Non vedo l’ora…

Grazie Aube, bella dose <3

57 • marcosb21 dicembre 2012 alle 21:23

vi prego, non rimuovete la bestemmia…senza crolla tutta quella meravigliosa battuta!

58 • goemon21 dicembre 2012 alle 22:12

56 • Andre21 si dice Buon Natale un pene… alloraaaaa. Sei recidiva però. Eccheccazzo.

59 • maxale21 dicembre 2012 alle 22:28

Per chi è contrario alla bestemmia, considerate che quel soprannome al nipotino di Monti l’abbia dato Berlusconi, quindi va contestualizzata (cit. monsignor Fisichella).

60 • maxale21 dicembre 2012 alle 22:33

@Anto
mettiamola così: quando Storace guarda il busto di Almirante si trasforma in tredicenne.

66 • gnoghe21 dicembre 2012 alle 23:37

scusate l’ovvietà, ma questa dose è bellissima. mie preferite: l’app di dj francesco, gli schiavi nei campi ma soprattutto IMU e porcodio (chi non ha riso a questa secondo me ha dei problemi).

73 • Frank Gallagher22 dicembre 2012 alle 03:22

giggi, così non va, rispetta chi non vuole ridere fino alle lacrime alle 3.22 di notte

74 • jackbass6822 dicembre 2012 alle 04:30

Molte le avevo già lette nel laboratorio, eppure mentre leggevo il post mi sono affogato diverse volte per le risate…dire che vi amo è poco, adesso però andate affanculo! Auguri anche a te goemon :-)
P.S.: quella non è una bestemmia, ma un’espressione perfettamente strumentale alla battuta, provate a sostituirla con quello che vi pare…non funzionerà più, per questo lui è giggi voi non siete un cazzo :-D

75 • Triskel22 dicembre 2012 alle 10:37

Sinceramente senza polemica: è possibile chiedere a Misterdonnie (e a chi ha selezionato la battuta) in che modo quella del biliardino rientra nella categoria satira?
Dal momento che non ho usato le parole ‘vergogna’, ‘immoralità’, ‘offesa’ pregherei tutti i pretoriani dei commenti di astenersi dal tacciarmi di moralismo e perbenismo.

76 • Banda della Bandana22 dicembre 2012 alle 10:42

Commento 75. Hai ragione.

Misterdonnie in quella battuta si è fatto prendere la mano.

80 • Cristian22 dicembre 2012 alle 12:02

Ragazzi, monumentale il titolo!!
E a parte questo finale amarissimo ma proprio per questo spettacolare.

Quella su Schicchi meravigliosa, ne avevo pensata una anch’io:

Morto Riccardo Schicchi. Ci ha mostrato il porno da un’occhiaia diversa.
So che è tardi, ma dovevo scriverla..:)

Grazie

81 • ambrini22 dicembre 2012 alle 13:00

beh come al solito mi fate fare grasse risate!e comunque il top sono quella su Bono e su Grillo!

82 • dataghoul22 dicembre 2012 alle 13:05

Quella sui nipotini di Monti è assolutamente eccezionale: ho riso fino alle lacrime (e non accadeva da parecchio, a dire la verità).

83 • Calaveracafe22 dicembre 2012 alle 13:59

Bersani: “La mia agenda? La stessa di Monti più qualcosa”. I punti interrogativi.

Se Sofino si candida a febbraio, ha già vinto.

84 • Barabba Superstar Limones22 dicembre 2012 alle 14:43

@ 83:
Non so chi tu sia né che sesso tu abbia, ma con quel nick già ti amo.

85 • Daniele22 dicembre 2012 alle 15:08

Banda della Bandana • 22 dicembre 2012 alle 10:42
Commento 75. Hai ragione.

Misterdonnie in quella battuta si è fatto prendere la mano.”

AHAHAHAAH tante volte le discussioni rendono come e meglio del post stesso.

Mi dispiace per i perbenisti ma quella di giggi è una cosa eccezionale… ottimo post, direi alla grande anche misterdonnie con il tema e venividiwc con il debito pubblico

88 • Turbine6822 dicembre 2012 alle 16:35

Scusate l’ignoranza,ma non ho capito le prime due battute.
Qualcuno me le spiega?

Grazie,vi amo!!!!!!!!!!

92 • Egnatio22 dicembre 2012 alle 19:11

Sciocchini non è una bestemmia porcodio, lo è Porco Dio! E lo è anche dire che le coppie gay sono una minaccia per la pace.

97 • nottiguai23 dicembre 2012 alle 01:28

Meglio bestemmiare che ironizzare sui bambini morti. Ma evitare entrambe le cose non è da moralisti. La satira però non prevede obbligatoriamente classe e garbo. Qualcuno ne è provvisto, altri privo.
Ma la battuta su Schicchi trovo contenga tutto il meglio della satira e di Spinoza senza scadere. Si parla di morte e, indirettamente, di dio. Ma con una classe cristallina.
Non concordo con le infinite discussioni sui post migliori o peggiori di sempre. Trovo ci sia una sostanziale continuità, che è anche la fortuna del sito. Ma ritengo che una selezione più severa non guasterebbe.
Poi, per sbirciare le altre ci sarebbero numerosi modi.
Finito.

98 • Arethel23 dicembre 2012 alle 01:40

Non credo di aver capito quella su grillo.
Se l’ho capita, non mi fa ridere.

Cioè… suona come un banale commento su un forum qualsiasi, della serie “se non ti piace, non sei costretto a leggere”.

Sicuramente c’è qualcosa che mi sfugge, non ci arrivo proprio.

P.S.: non sono un grillino

100 • Arethel23 dicembre 2012 alle 02:05

Che fosse una dichiarazione sua lo si capiva dai due punti preceduti dal nome.
Ne so quanto prima.

101 • Barabba Superstar goes to El Midollo23 dicembre 2012 alle 04:23

@Arethel

Analogia con la sua dichiarazione “Poco democratico? Fuori dalle palle!” con retrogusto di paradosso (rispondere, risentito all’accusa di essere poco democratico con fare davvero poco democratico).
Come dire: “Dittatore Io? Guarda che ti spedisco in Siberia, sa!?”.

No…l’ho scritta davvero io sta roba? Mi vergogno.

105 • stralalla23 dicembre 2012 alle 15:20

Metterei anche le foto degli autori dei post, ogni tanto. Così da rendersi conto se sono umani o alieni.
Troppo bello questo post.
Ancora.
Ancora metadone, se possibile allo 0,5%

106 • Arrrvydas23 dicembre 2012 alle 16:03

La satira non dovrebbe offendere la sensibilita’ altrui. Affidarsi a parolacce o bestemmie e’ proprio di chi non ha finezza. La bestemmia e la parolaccia sono come il dialetto o la distorsione della voce o la gestualita’ nelle barzellette: aiutano a far ridere se la barzelletta e’ scarsa. Migliore e’ la satira che non ricorre a questi mezzi da quattro soldi. Siete infantili.

107 • dr.joe23 dicembre 2012 alle 16:35

quella su Spread, Imu e bestemmia finale è, nonostante la bestemmia, la migliore!!! la satira non ammette limiti all’irriverenza

108 • Triskel23 dicembre 2012 alle 17:42

Scusate se ripropongo la mia domanda qui ma non so come contattare l’autore.
Vorrei chiedere a Misterdonnie se la battuta sul biliardino ha un aspetto satirico che mi è sfuggito, e se si quale.
E’ una domanda assolutamente non provocatoria.
La battuta mi ha fatto ridere ma mi è sembrata l’opposto della satira.
Sarei anche curioso di sapere cosa ne pensa Gianmarco Bachi in merito.
Grazie per l’attenzione!

110 • ughino23 dicembre 2012 alle 22:01

uno dei migliori post di sempre!
Quella su Grillo è meravigliosa!

per la bestemmia… beh che dire… io sono ultracattolico e ho conoscenze molto in alto. Vado immediatamente a sentire il pensiero di un alto prelato, un Monsignore. Chiederò a Monsignor Fisichella cosa ne pensa delle bestemmie!

ma… ma come “bisogna contestualizzare”, monsignore… :(

111 • montales23 dicembre 2012 alle 22:29

Triskel, no, secondo me non è satira.E’ una “cazzatona”. Se una “cazzatona” fa molto ridere, allora viene “promossa”. Sia nel forum sia nei post, una cazzatona ogni tanto ci sta da Dio. Spesso si è costretti a spiegare che per far satira non è necessario fare ridere, e trovi diversi esempi nel post sulla scuola americana. Ma fare ridere in sè, soprattutto su notizie leggere (la notizia in questione è leggera), non va certo screditato. Credo sia tutta una questione di equilibrio tra le varie componenti riuscire a fare una bella pubblicazione come questo post.

114 • Igor24 dicembre 2012 alle 01:06

Ma sono l’unico che a tredici anni desiderava morire scopando e non facendosi le seghe???? O_o Ci sono tredicenni strani in giro….
Grandiosi come sempre!!!!!!! XD

116 • Il Maestro e il Maragarita (e Barabba)24 dicembre 2012 alle 01:42

Odio fare il maestrino, ma la satira, per definizione, consiste nel mettere alla berlina personaggi intoccabili. Quindi anche e soprattutto persone come gli amputati, che intoccabili lo sono in sensi vari.

118 • Il Maestro e il Maragarita (e Barabba)24 dicembre 2012 alle 01:49

Se la gente si scandalizzasse davvero, con dei veri moti interiori e di intenti, protestasse davvero contro ciò che davvero scandalizza. Un Papa che rade al suolo qualunque elevazione di morale cristiana, avvista pagliuzze inesistenti nell’omosessuale di turno quando c’è il pederasta di casa che viene graziato, una prima repubblica che torna, i cinque partiti nell’uno, l’uno nel tutto, ovvero il Berlusca in me e non quello in sé. Se la gente si scandalizzasse per quello che é, se comprasse degli specchi e si guardasse, ammesso che vi appaia…se perdesse meno tempo su Spinoza e facesse una chiacchierata con la moglie, facesse meglio il proprio lavoro, studiasse nuove cose, e si ricordasse che qui il soggetto è una terza persona quindi non ci vuole faceste (eh, me lo aspettavo).
Se solo tutto questo fosse possibile, non saremmo in Italia. Dio ladro inesistente.

119 • Il Maestro e il Maragarita (e Barabba)24 dicembre 2012 alle 01:52

Ho il dono della vista, dell’udito, facoltà di parlare, un gusto labile,un vago olfatto, uso il telecomando e quindi ho tattoooooo

120 • Triskel24 dicembre 2012 alle 09:35

@montales

Grazie per la risposta, è una valutazione molto simile alla mia.
Però ci riprovo a chiederlo all’empireo dello staff: è questo lo spirito con cui la battuta è stata inserita nel post?
Grazie di nuovo

121 • Ogre24 dicembre 2012 alle 09:56

Non ci sono parole per l’umorismo noir di qualità che avete! Siete i migliori! Auguri!!

‘Calcio, nasce la nazionale amputati. Praticamente un biliardino.’

122 • awakemorpheus24 dicembre 2012 alle 10:32

Spinoza va bene così com’è, senza censure di sorta…
Per quanto riguarda la bestemmia, cercatevi Mauro Biglino, potreste cambiare idea…

124 • er conte24 dicembre 2012 alle 17:19

Aforisma sulla bestemmia

La bestemmia è una fastidiosa espressione di falsità intellettuale e carenza di pensiero logico.
Se credi in Dio, che ci ha creati ed è in noi, perchè bestemmiarlo?
Se non credi in Dio, che senso ha offendere qualcuno che non esiste?
Chiaramente il vero intento del bestemmiatore non è offendere Dio, ma offendere indirettamente
coloro che credono in Dio.
Sarebbe più onesto e schietto dire: “Cristiani porci”.

127 • Bella24 dicembre 2012 alle 19:27

@124 Religiosi porci. Chi bestemmia non ce l’ha solo con il dio dei cristiani ma con tutti gli dei: giove, pollon, buddah, maometto, tao, gesù e tutte ste cazzate qua. A ben vedere tra gli allocchi di Wanna Marchi contenti di darle del denaro ed i credenti nei vari dei, scientology etc. non c’è sostanziale differenza se non che la “giustizia” difende i primi ma non i secondi.

129 • er conte24 dicembre 2012 alle 22:32

@127

grazie per l’involontaria conferma e l’ampiamento del mio pensiero. Buon Natale

131 • Banda della Bandana25 dicembre 2012 alle 01:28

127
La regole del gioco, intendo quella serie di cose che per esempio in Italia tutti abbiamo dovuto accettare, specie i politici per tenersi buoni preti di alto rango, non solo hanno garantito alla setta vaticana di fare sempre quel che cazzo voleva, ma hanno tenuto questa nazione indietro di decenni sulle conquiste del pensiero che mano a mano si facevano largo in nazioni meno schiave.
In sostanza, riducendo la cosa ai minimi termini, il porcodio si rivela essere del tutto insufficiente. Un po’ come dire birichino a Mengele o nervosetto a Hitler.
Se solo la gente capisse il male vero, reale, tangibile, che la setta con sede nei pressi di Roma ha fatto allo sviluppo del mondo, e nello specifico allo sviluppo dell’Italia, ci sarebbe ben altro da concepire in ottemperanza al diritto di critica verso l’operato di una SPA che ha come mission il controllo del pianeta.
Alla fine il porcodio è una gentilezza, un gesto distensivo, quasi una carezza.

132 • er conte25 dicembre 2012 alle 10:44

@131

Religione una cosa, chiesa un’altra.
Anche tu mi confermi che l’offesa contenuta nel bestemmiare Dio non è veramente diretta verso Dio stesso, ma bensì verso chi ci crede.

133 • Kadath25 dicembre 2012 alle 13:40

È morto l’inventore del codice a barre. È arrivato il momento di passare alla cassa.

“Come vi uccidereste?” è la traccia di un tema assegnato a una classe di tredicenni. I maschi hanno dato tutti la stessa risposta.

Riccardo Schicchi è passato a miglior vita. Permettetemi di essere scettico.
______________________________________________________

GENIALI! :)

134 • Enrico25 dicembre 2012 alle 19:07

Se ogni superstizione ignorante del mondo si arroga il diritto di negare l’ingiuria a questo o quell’altro feticcio dove andiamo a finire? Porco uomo nero!

135 • misterdonnie25 dicembre 2012 alle 19:50

Ciao Triskel, leggo solo ora. Non so se quella battuta possa rientrare nella definizione di satira, non mi pongo mai questo tipo di problema quando scrivo (in generale sono discussioni che non mi hanno mai appassionato); cerco sempre di scrivere cose che possano essere divertenti e magari originali, che a volte si possono prestare a diversi livelli di lettura a volte no, a volte possono cercare di lanciar messaggi a volte no. In questo caso ho semplicemente provato a immaginare la scena e mi è venuta subito l’associazione col biliardino che mi è parsa (bastarduccia e) divertente e abbastanza originale; e così è stata recepita all’interno del thread e anche dal resto dello staff. Tutto qui:)
per il resto quoto montales: a mio avviso una delle forze di questo sito sia sempre stata l’alternare vari registri, battute più strutturate e “importanti” a battute più da cazzeggio.
ciao e buone feste

mrD

136 • magicuba26 dicembre 2012 alle 13:31

Fenomenale questo post, sono morto dal ridere , giggi, misterdonnie su tut.. no ma cosa dico? tutti bravi :D meglio degli ultimi spinoza a mio avviso

137 • Triskel26 dicembre 2012 alle 13:37

Grazie Misterdonnie, sei stato molto cortese ed esaustivo. Buone feste residue a te, allo staff e ai lettori.
Marco

138 • The Luca26 dicembre 2012 alle 14:47

Un bellissimo post rovinato dalla bestemmia, non in quanto tale perchè ci starebbe in moltissime altre battute apparse sul sito, ma perchè accentra su di sè gran parte dell’attenzione senza un motivo preciso nè una funzionalità all’interno della battuta in cui è collocata. Mi trovo d’accordo con chi affermava che è stata messa lì apposta per far scalpore e dare fastidio, piuttosto che perchè “necessaria” all’umorismo della battuta.
Pazienza. Resta un gran bel post, anche perchè non monopolizzato da un solo argomento.

139 • Banda della Bandana26 dicembre 2012 alle 17:33

“Un bellissimo post rovinato dalla bestemmia… perchè accentra su di sè gran parte dell’attenzione senza un motivo preciso nè una funzionalità all’interno della battuta in cui è collocata. ”

138… hai finemente dimostrato che a lavare la testa all’asino si perde tempo, acqua e sapone.

140 • er conte27 dicembre 2012 alle 09:47

Credo che il commento 111 di montales sia uno tra i commenti più sinceri e condivisibili che mi sia capitato di leggere. E come il 135 di misterdonnie ridimensiona l’importanza che la satira occupa in Spinoza. Sarebbe infatti ora di ammettere che lo spirito che anima il sito non è la beneamata satira, con la quale ci si fa schermo, codardamente, per difendersi dalle accuse dei “moralisti”, lasciando credere che ogni battuta sia atta a stimolare chissà quale profonda, e moralistica, riflessione (sotto questo aspetto i bigliettini dei Baci Perugina sono spesso migliori). Allora perché non affrancarsi del tutto dall’ esigenza della satira e apertamente, senza ipocrisie di sorta, dedicare Spinoza all’elogio della, come dice montales, “cazzatona”?

141 • indriu27 dicembre 2012 alle 10:57

uno dei migliori dei post degli ultimi mesi… stupito per le “proteste” riguardo la bestemmia.. O_O

142 • mikkus27 dicembre 2012 alle 12:07

siete geniali, anche i commenti (31-32-92-117-118 solo per dirne alcuni) meritano….non vi preoccupate delle bestemmie, fra qualche giorno ve ne dimenticherete, come quella della barzelletta di Berlusconi sull’orchidea maschile (sono stato abbastanza delicato?). buon ingrassamento a tutti

144 • Egnatio27 dicembre 2012 alle 19:49

@ 124 • er conte •
Bravo er conte, infatti è da mò che al lavoro dico: porco il tuo dio e mannaggia alla tua madonna, soprattutto coi baciapile che non capiscono se ignorarmi o fare le crociate!
In questo modo c’azzecco anche coi mussulmani!

Untempo nei locali pubblici era affisso un cartellino con la scritta “E’ vietata la bestemmia e il turpiloquio”. Era una norma del Regolamento di Pubblica Sicurezza.
Un mio amico, aduso ad un linguaggio ‘vietato’, inventò questa imprecazione:
“Mannaggia il triangolo di Gesù Cristo”.
Ora ‘mannaggia’ non è una bestemmia, e Gesù Cristo non ha il triangolo, che spetta invece a Suo Padre.
Però se Gesù avesse avuto l’automobile…….

146 • er conte28 dicembre 2012 alle 10:29

@144 • Egnatio

No, forse hai interpretato male le mie osservazioni (anche se in verità erano molto esplicite).
Ti riporto l’ultima riga del mio commento 124:

Sarebbe più onesto e schietto dire: “Cristiani porci”.

Poi si può declinare per qualsiasi confessione religiosa, ma comunque (repetita iuvant) il concetto era che non c’entrava niente né il mio Dio né la mia Madonna, il fine della bestemmia è offendere il soggetto credente e quindi perchè non rivolgersi direttamente a lui?

147 • EmaG28 dicembre 2012 alle 16:54

Che palle con sta bestemmia!! Porcodio è un intercalare che diventa bestemmia solo quando il dio è quello dei cristiani, se poi è così megalomane da credersi sempre al centro di ogni discorso son cavoli suoi!!

148 • Barabba28 dicembre 2012 alle 16:55

Non siamo interventisti, aspettiamo di salire sul carro, armato, del vincitore. E non si capisce se sarà made in RPC.

Non siamo fondati sul cazzeggio, ma siamo leader nel settore. E non si capisce se sia lavoro o disoccupazione.

Non siamo per l’estradizione politica, ma la pretendiamo dagli altri. E non si capisce se ci sia stato terrorismo prima o ci si ammala di terrore ora.

Non siamo cattolici, ma oltre a lavare i piedi degli Ultimi Commensali li lecchiamo anche. E non si capisce se prima o se dopo.

Non siamo sciatti né pigri di testa (ma carini e ben vestiti sì), ma dopo tra un pezzo di Pompei e un cornicione di Colosseo fra le balle ci sono i ricercatori a scioperare. E non capisco mai dove inizia la Berna-Roma-L’Aquila.

Non siamo sudditi di nessuno, ma accettiamo la sovranità dei pochi. E non si capisce se chi mi giudica su una bestemmia o sul concetto di satira pensi davvero che me ne freghi qualcosa del suo sdegno.

(Fonte: http://www.governo.it/governo/costituzione/principi.html)

Purtroppo questo NON è un paese democratico. Forse toccherà andarsene dalle palle. Questo però non fa ridere.

151 • Barabba Superstar28 dicembre 2012 alle 23:06

@BB
#148
Questo non è un Paese. È un accozzaglia di mediocrità contenuta con l’inganno o la violenza. Ma un Paese vero no. È un affronto al mondo.

152 • gesùrf29 dicembre 2012 alle 15:25

bigotti e beghine,baciapile e bizzoche,codini e mangiaostie per favore non visitate più questo meraviglioso sito.non è roba per voi…

153 • Davide30 dicembre 2012 alle 11:45

Grandissimi. Sì, si poteva anche evitare la bestemmia e scrivere “cacchina caccona” ma poi i coprofagi se la prendono

154 • Nerd4ever30 dicembre 2012 alle 13:42

Dita spezzate, porcodio, quanto stanno e biliardino mitiche.
La bestemmia ci sta: la battuta non era la stessa senza…

156 • waldorf31 dicembre 2012 alle 17:06

127 – “In sostanza, riducendo la cosa ai minimi termini, il porcodio si rivela essere del tutto insufficiente. Un po’ come dire birichino a Mengele o nervosetto a Hitler.”
Un altro commento che supera parecchie battute !!

157 • astusin31 dicembre 2012 alle 17:31

Chiederei cortesemente a tutti coloro che hanno da dire e da discutere su questo blog facciano il suo blog e cerchino di farlo conoscere.- Avete rotto con questo “perbenismo”…cercate l’etimo delle parole bigotto e cretino e dopo ne parliamo

158 • Drappo Nero1 gennaio 2013 alle 17:19

Io per capodanno sono andato a un Camicia Nera Party, ci siete mai stati?

Si arriva vestiti tutti in nero e poi ci si diverte come in tutte le feste, solo che come musica di sottofondo ci sono le canzoni Fasciste riarrangiate e mixate in chiave techno, inframmezzate da discorsi del Duce. Mentre si balla si canta alzando la mano destra nel saluto romano.

Veramente delle splendide feste, appena ne faranno altre in giro per l’Italia non mancherò di segnalarvelo. Vi consiglio vivamente di andarci, il divertimento è assicurato!

163 • max2 gennaio 2013 alle 12:27

Tristezza: questa è la sensazione più forte provata nel leggere le battute, degne ormai di Colorado. Ma la cosa ancora più triste è vedere chi le ha scritte riderci sopra nei commenti, e tutti gli altri leccapiedi dietro a ridere con loro. Ormai per smuovervi dal vostro torpore creativo e per raccattare qualche povero imbecille che vi assicura che siete dei grandi umoristi siete arrivati alla bestemmia: il prossimo passo sarà la barzelletta sporca.

Già l’uso della parolaccia denota l’incapacità di far ridere in altro modo, vedi i film di natale di qualche tempo fa, ma solo quella di accontentare il pubblico becero e ignorante. Con la bestemmia avete quasi raggiunto il fondo, avete toccato la vostra vera essenza satirica: la disperata ricerca di ridere e far ridere a tutti i costi, anche con la merda.

E non lo dico perché credo in Dio, ognuno è libero di dire quello che vuole, ma avete dimostrato, e lo dimostrano a loro volta tutti quei poveracci che difendono a spada tratta la vostra inutile, puerile, idiota bestemmia come stessero salvaguardando la libertà di satira in una dittatura confessionale, che sarebbe meglio chiudeste, perché siete diventati ormai dei ragazzini sfigati di quarant’anni, che ancora si divertono a dire le cose “proibite” per fare colpo sulle menti semplici di quei pochi veri ragazzini che ancora vi leggono.

164 • Banda della Bandana2 gennaio 2013 alle 13:06

max, nell’altro post c’era già un Marco P. a darci dei 30/40enni sfigati, questo per dirti che non sei arrivato primo su questa disamina di alto valore sociale, mi dispiace.

165 • quintialex2 gennaio 2013 alle 13:28

davvero geniali!

non capisco davvero i max della situazione che vengono su questa pagina e invece di farsi una risata o cambiare sito (ci vuole un clic, mica una laurea!) perdono tempo a scrivere cosa non gli è piaciuto…
frustrati di turno, tutti li leziosetti a scrivere e poi a rileggersi quelle 10/15 mila volte e a vedere che ‘effetto’ ha a fatto il loro ‘intelligentissimo’ post sulla popolazione tutta! è proprio vero che c’è gente che brama per quei 5 nanosecondi di notorietà…perchè rivedersi scritti su una pagina di internet può dare orgasmi!! patetici

166 • max2 gennaio 2013 alle 13:42

@banda della bandana
E allora? Guarda che non è una gara a chi arriva primo a postare una considerazione altrimenti tutte quelle simili e seguenti perdono di valore, e la tua risposta piccata non fa altro che confermare quello che ho detto. Se qualcun altro ci era già arrivato significa solo che non sono il solo a pensarlo, e forse dovreste farvi qualche domanda.

168 • Banda della Bandana2 gennaio 2013 alle 21:15

@max (166)

Si max lo so. Sono un 30/40enne frustrato. La mia frustrazione non mi impedisce però di trovare curioso l’atteggiamento di chi va su spinoza per piluccare le battute immorali e rinfacciarle all’utenza.

Su pontifex potresti farlo perchè quel sito ritiene di dover moralizzare l’umanità. Qui… insomma… cerca di capire… sembra proprio che tu ci sia finito in quanto persona banalmente intollerante ma che ritiene di essere moralmente ok.

Mi puoi capire?

170 • stef3 gennaio 2013 alle 13:07

Art. 724 c.p.

Chiunque pubblicamente bestemmia, con invettive o parole oltraggiose, contro la divinità o i simboli o le persone venerati nella religione dello Stato, è punito con la sanzione amministrativa pecuniaria da euro 51 a euro 309.
La stessa sanzione si applica a chi compie qualsiasi pubblica manifestazione oltraggiosa verso i defunti.

174 • guzru4 gennaio 2013 alle 13:05

Ma porcoddio, che stracazzo ci fate su un sito di satira se vi scomponete per un’azzeccatissima bestemmia???
E poi le lezioncine su cos’è la satira…ma andate a fanculo!

177 • roby4 gennaio 2013 alle 19:41

Una caduta di stile sulla bestemmia, che lascia le risate amare…mi ricordo di un detto chi bestemmia non ragiona e chi ragiona non bestemmia

178 • Roby4 gennaio 2013 alle 20:26

d’accordo con la mia/o omonima/o, ormai le battute con le bestemmie le fanno solo più i muratori…

179 • max5 gennaio 2013 alle 10:04

d’accordo con molti altri commenti, la terza era decisamente scadente. e anche un po’ fuori moda, ormai non fa più audience, ci sono metodi più raffinati di essere divertenti.

180 • mauro5 gennaio 2013 alle 17:47

Ho saputo che la nuova fidanzata di Lapo si chiama Goga.
A vederli insieme lui sembra gontento.
:-)
ciao

181 • tar5 gennaio 2013 alle 22:13

QUINTIALEX, PER QUEL CHE VALE, HAI LA MIA SOLIDARIETA’!
GRAZIE (non avrei saputo esprimermi meglio)

182 • ross6 gennaio 2013 alle 12:07

Non ho finito di leggere tutti i commenti che sono tantissimi , ma è il vostro Nome che attira tutti questi finti filosofi del cazzo a soppesare e non capire il contesto di una bestemmia ?

184 • Giò6 gennaio 2013 alle 17:01

Uffa con ‘sta storia della bestemmia.
Uno paga l’imu, sente dello spread e poi bestemmia.
Il riso non deriva dalla bestemmia ma dal fatto che la si associ a spread ed imu.
Tipo:
dei pulcini corrono sull’orlo di un pozzo
… pio, pio, pio …
poi uno ci cade dentro
… porco pio, porco pio, porco pio …
Come la rendete senza l’accenno ad una bestemmia ?
Qualcuno me la spiega quella della 126 ?

186 • Gino7 gennaio 2013 alle 11:00

fantasmagorica quella di Schicchi *clap* *clap*

Giò, quella della 126 si riferisce all’attentato a Borsellino, in cui fu usata una 126 come autobomba

187 • Andrea7 gennaio 2013 alle 13:00

facevamo volentieri a meno della bestemmia grazie; non si tratta di essere bigotti, si tratta di avere rispetto.

189 • Spacediver8 gennaio 2013 alle 16:45

Quella su Grillo è fantastica!
Quella della bestemmia mi ricorda la Letizzetto e non é un complimento

190 • luca10 gennaio 2013 alle 14:33

Calcio, nasce la nazionale amputati. Praticamente un biliardino.
Non so quando riusciro’ a smettere di ridere!!!

191 • Fabrizio11 gennaio 2013 alle 11:09

Ho sempre apprezzato il sito e le battute e anche queste mi piacciono. Un punto fermo però sulla bestemmia… purtroppo a mio avviso, e concordo con Max, si tratta di inquadrare bene la questione. Chi si offende per la bestemmia non è un bigotto, semplicemente è una persona educata che non accetta e trova fastidioso un linguaggio irrispettoso. La bestemmia offende in molti a prescindere dall’essere cattolici, cristiani o altro. E’ una questione di educazione civile. A casa mia i miei genitori, ottime persone oneste, mi hanno insegnato che solo gli incivili bestemmiano. Tutto qui.
Non voglio moralizzare nessuno, (s)fortunatamente so quanto sia gretto il mio animo, dico solo che una persona civile non bestemmia a prescindere dalle sue idee religiose. La stessa persona ovviamente farà cose immorali, ma sarebbe opportuno darci dei limiti, da persone intelligenti.

192 • c'èchi12 gennaio 2013 alle 19:40

c’è chi perderebbe il posto di lavoro per una bestemmia, e voi ne fate un vanto. coglioni.

193 • marcondirondirondello12 gennaio 2013 alle 22:00

“Se credi in Dio, che ci ha creati ed è in noi, perchè bestemmiarlo?
Se non credi in Dio, che senso ha offendere qualcuno che non esiste?”
_______________________________________________________
La bestemmia è usata dai più come intercalare, più che come offesa, benché trovi buffo che ci si possa OFFENDERE per questa parolina di otto lettere. Ha anche una certa musicalità.
Ad essere sincero, trovo più irrispettoso qualcuno che mi dà del coglione.

194 • Fabrizio14 gennaio 2013 alle 16:45

concordo con il non offendere nessuno (non si dovrebbe dare del coglione a chi non si conosce di persona…). “La bestemmia è usata dai più come intercalare, più che come offesa, benché trovi buffo che ci si possa OFFENDERE per questa parolina di otto lettere.”

1. Le paroline offendono le persone educate.
2. Anche “heil Hitler” è un semplice intercalare.

No. La migliore di tutti è quella del tema… La bestemmia poteva essere evitata. Visto che esistono i credenti. Un conto è fare una battuta sul Papa o sulla Chiesa (molto bella quella dei captcha) un conto è offendere gratuitamente. Come diverso è fare una battuta sulle persone di colore un conto è dire “sporco negro” così a caso che oltretutto nemmeno fa ridere…

197 • what god taxi driver20 gennaio 2013 alle 01:26

la bestemmia poteva essere evitata. ma non è stato fatto, ed è meglio così.
vi riempite la bocca di “rispetto”, ma chiedete autocensura.

198 • Edoardo22 gennaio 2013 alle 22:33

VI POSTO QUESTA : Alfano : i 230 mila possessori di cani e gatti devono sapere che secondo monti sono tutti ricchi e tassabili.Bravo ora torna a fare la cuccia.

200 • Mirco24 gennaio 2013 alle 21:27

Gesù…!!! Me ne sono reso conto solo adesso: l’era appena finita era quella dell’Oro… cinquemila anni di merda ci aspettano! Non so se basterà una bestemmia…

201 • supercalifragi26 gennaio 2013 alle 18:24

Cioè…….se ci sono feste con “canzoni Fasciste riarrangiate e mixate in chiave techno, inframmezzate da discorsi del Duce. Mentre si balla si canta alzando la mano destra nel saluto romano.”….allora le bestemmie dovrebbero essere obbligatorie..

202 • walser1 febbraio 2013 alle 22:57

chi si lamenta per la bestemmia e’ un ipocrita. Provate a darvi una martellata sui coglioni e inevitabilmente ci sta un porcoddio

203 • il terzo nipote di monti7 febbraio 2013 alle 13:56

l’ultima è AMARISSIMA………….
viva i nipoti di montiiiiiii!!! soprattuto il terzo..

204 • pretext11 febbraio 2013 alle 22:25

Io credo in dio e proprio per questo mi alzo la mattina bestemmiando e continuo fino a sera

206 • Bobby12 febbraio 2013 alle 11:22

Io vorrei solo sapere quanti, di quelli che si indignano per la bestemmia, rispettano le seguenti regole:
1)”Io sono il Signore, tuo Dio… Non avere altri dèi di fronte a me. Non ti farai idolo né immagine… Non ti prostrerai davanti a quelle cose”, amici vi informo che per altri dèi si intendono anche il denaro, i personaggi che vengono idolatrati come esseri superiori ecc.
2)”Non pronunciare invano il nome del Signore tuo Dio”, in questo caso è pronunciato invano anche quando dite “graie a dio” o “cazo sei un dio!”
3)”Osserva il giorno di sabato per santificarlo”, esatto, riposo…se lavorate anche il sabato e la sera andate a ballare, fate bene, ma non state rispettando questo comandamento
4)”Onora tuo padre e tua madre”, non li onorate mentendo loro o incolpandoli di essere la causa dei vostri problemi, o scroccando loro i soldi guadagnati in anni di duro lavoro
5)”Non uccidere”, la dottrina insegna che non si uccide solo fisicamente, ma anche con le parole, quando ad esempio umiliate qualcuno, o date della troia alla vostra ragazza o mostrate intolleranza nei confronti di chi la pensa diversamente da voi
6)”Non commettere adulterio (poi trasformato in “non commettere atti impuri”)”, qui non c’è neanche da commentare
7)”Non rubare”, evadere le tasse, non fare lo scontrino, non restituire un resto sbagliato, raccogliere un portafogli e ciularsi i soldi, tutto questo E’ rubare
8)”Non pronunciare falsa testimonianza contro il tuo prossimo”, quando dite cazzate sul prossimo o sputtanate un collega per scavalcarlo, ebbene state peccando
9)”Non desiderare la moglie del tuo prossimo”, ricordate che anche il marito di Belen Rodriguez è un vostro prossimo
10)”Non desiderare la casa del tuo prossimo né alcuna delle cose che sono del tuo prossimo”,quindi quando siete invidiosi e vorreste la macchina uguale a quella del vostro amico, oppure dite che tizio o caio non meritano ciò che hanno, ecco che state peccando di nuovo.
Morale della favola, chi è senza peccato scagli la prima pietra o non rompa il cazzo, ma soprattutto se volete essere cristiani siatelo, ma siatelo davvero, oppure evitate di fare la ramanzina agli altri

207 • Bobby12 febbraio 2013 alle 11:30

Aggiungo anche:
http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dio

Cari amici dell’unico vero dio, non siate egoisti né presuntuosi, lasciate che noi si abbia il dio che vogliamo e lo si chiami come vogliamo. Infine vi chiedo una cosa, se dico porcozeus vi indignate? Dovreste se dite che il problema non è di religione ma di educazione. Insomma vorrei capire cosa cambia a livello grammaticale e semantico.

209 • gattorosso7124 febbraio 2013 alle 15:02

Anche a me quella con la bestemmia non è piaciuta.
Ma d’altra parte se il nipotino lo chiamano così è giusto dirlo senza girarci troppo intorno.

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