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Wikifreaks » Dispaccio #003

Spinoza

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Dispaccio #003

Elvis, come tutti sanno, non è morto. Con gli anni ha fatto carriera nella Chiesa fino a diventare cardinale. Ora attende solo di essere eletto Papa e di aprire il suo discorso inaugurale dal balcone di San Pietro con le parole “Be bop-a-lula whop bam boo”.

* * *

L’ultimo libro di Fabio Volo è in realtà una raccolta di discorsi al popolo di Fidel Castro. Tranne l’ultimo capitolo, che è il testo della canzone che Syria presentò al festival di Sanremo del 1994. Più volte interrogata, la cantante ha negato qualsiasi coinvolgimento.

* * *

La Svezia sta meditando la creazione di una bomba nucleare e il suo utilizzo futuro ai danni della Finlandia. Così, perché non hanno un cazzo da fare e si annoiano.

* * *

Fonti attendibili riportano che l’ex primo ministro israeliano Ariel Sharon fa solo finta di essere in coma. È un abile trucco per far abbassare la guardia ai paesi arabi confinanti. Quando quelli saranno rilassati, Sharon si sveglierà facendo BUUUH! e prendendoli alla sprovvista.

* * *

Berlusconi è morto nove anni fa in un banale incidente domestico. Subito si decise di non far circolare la notizia e si contattò in gran segreto Toni Servillo, che per un po’ di tempo lo interpretò senza problemi anche se con qualche lieve eccesso di gigionismo. Poi con il crescente successo dell’attore si è dovuto sostituirlo. Il suo posto è stato preso prima da Pierfrancesco Favino poi da Giuseppe Battiston, ma inspiegabilmente ogni volta che un attore prende il posto di Berlusconi le sue quotazioni decollano facendolo trovare nell’impossibilità di conciliare la carriera con la sua attività nascosta. Ora sotto la maschera di Berlusconi c’è Gabriel Garko. Se avrà successo persino lui, il Pdl rivelerà al paese la verità.

* * *

Alberto Tomba è un agente dormiente di Al Qaeda. Attualmente si trova sulle montagne dell’Afghanistan, dove sta insegnando lo spazzaneve a Bin Laden, utile in caso di fuga precipitosa.

93 commenti a “Dispaccio #003”

2 • capt_yossarian27 aprile 2011 alle 14:17

Vogliamo l’Oscar per Battiston… altro che De Niro per Toro Scatenato, lo ha surclassato.

Be Bop A Lula è di Gene Vincent, e la frase in generale è da Tutti Frutti di Little Richard; però quest’ultima l’ha cantata anche Elvis, quindi ok

Volendo avete fatto anche di meglio, comunque carino anche questo post ;-)

… specialmente il dispaccio su Alberto Tomba (anche piuttosto credibile!)

11 • Barbara9 giugno 2011 alle 11:44

10 • alessandro • 5 giugno 2011 alle 16:36
non fanno affatto ridere

ah ah ah :D QUESTA FA RIDERE PERO’!!!

13 • onussenonosoi14 luglio 2011 alle 16:15

spinoza sta irrimediabilmente decadendo e il suo anagramma è “io spanz”. onussenonosoi. adieu

14 • Gino1 agosto 2011 alle 15:22

Detto alla romana:

ao, a me me fa taja chi và sull’artri siti è scrive: “questo sito è brutto”, “non fa ridere”.

Ma fatte li stramaledetti c@##i tua e vattene da n’antra parte a rompe li c@j*n| no?

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